I was sitting alone one night and I knew I wanted to watch a movie but I was so tired, emotional, and probably lazy to search and work on what is the best movie to watch. I turned this movie on figuring it was some mystery movie and since I love mystery movies, why not? I was very intrigued and somewhat confused at the time jump in the beginning of the movie. How is it snowy and then sunny the next? I just thought they fast forwarded to summer. Yeah, I know, I'm silly and looking back, I blame it on exhaustion from moving and unpacking boxes for the past decade.
My heart was moved. so moved in both the best and worst ways. There are a lot of messages given in this story and there are those who will receive them solely on faith, and I am one of those who received them solely on faith no matter what the movie might lack, possible cliches, and maybe what most will disregard from initial judgement. When I saw that Papa was a woman, I immediately thought... I hope people won't turn this movie off because God is presented as a woman here. I hoped and prayed they would wait and see. I didn't understand it at first until Papa explained why she was wearing a dress.
We all worship in many different ways, and if I can say it this way... my worship language is with song and writing. I have been greatly tuned to this specific song in this time of my life. It's been on replay on my iTunes, when I surf YouTube, and if I'm lucky, the radio. There is a great sense of peace when I hear this song... it is like my heart is instantly warmed and open. Sometimes when I sing along, God's presence is so strong that the lyrics escapes me. The song that's been played thousands of times and its words has literally been running through my veins and remembered by the breath in my lungs just disappears. It probably doesn't make sense, but it just turns to a bunch of words that I can't even understand. Although I keep on singing, and I keep on praising because I know God knows me fully.
There are many things that come with starting the school year. Supplies, clothes and shoes that will be needed for our children throughout the year... In the midst of all the preparing of the material things, there are also feelings of uncertainty, fear, and nervousness that we may feel and discussed very seldom. We never know what will come but I have realized that instead of focusing on things that can't be controlled, we should fill our children and even ourselves with ingredients that result in confidence and a strong heart. No matter what obstacles that will come our way, we know that we can overcome it.
We are trained in this world to do everything to be accepted, successful, and even to be praised. I find it exceptionally true in motherhood. For some reason, culture has taught and assumed mothers are meant to do literally everything in their household. When I read this chapter this morning, the topic of motherhood didn't even come up in my thoughts until I read the words, "You may be getting in the way of what God is trying to do in them." But we will get to that later...
Opposed to being expected to do everything, "we are only meant to do some things." This is true in every aspect of life. I'm going to address this topic in motherhood. The verse for this is Galatians 6:2-5. I truly love this verse because it is coming from love and for one's spiritual growth. It is mostly about the bigger loads that we normally cannot do ourselves and will need help from others to do them. The examples I am going to share could be seen as minimal by outsiders, but it truly is a burden since we are expected to do it everyday with little to no budge. I am talking about motherhood after all, the most looked down upon job of a woman in these days and age. If not looked down upon, it is mostly assumed to be the easiest job.
Sometimes I sit and think, "How come God just doesn't make us follow Him?" He is so powerful, but he doesn't do these things that rulers and kings do. For some reason... it requires my mind, my full heart that turns my hands to be working hands that glorify Him. It makes me take a look at myself as a parent sometimes... and I'm sure down the line when my kids are older, it would help me to parent them better. I think it takes a lot of mistakes and a lot of practicing for me and my family to be completely transformed. I think there's a reason for boundaries. It definitely takes both sides to even make a boundary effective.
"God doesn't have to abuse you to use you."
It's such a wonderful and a heart wrenching realization that I am His daughter, and not His slave. He loves me this much that He doesn't expect me to do everything. He creates a boundary between Himself and us, His sons and daughters. I have read this verse many times, but never in this point of view. A view so powerful that it makes me take a step back and rethink what even more of a loving God He is.
Today is Tuesday... and this day 6 of the Bible study was actually supposed to be for yesterday. It's funny how things work... I was extremely busy with organizing and cleaning from this move that I just did not find the time for this specific day. Today was actually the perfect day to read this. I cannot even fathom the mysterious ways God works, or how He makes one's failures something positive. All day today I was feeling like I was failing in so many aspects of my life as a blogger. I felt like something was missing and I was hit right in the heart confused on what I should do. I simply felt so unsuccessful.
Prayer is a such a powerful act. Prayer is so powerful in the most subtle way. God is good like that... He is about being subtle and loving while breaking a heart of stone with the softest blow. I've prayed for God to come into my family and marriage for so long, and this past week I have witnessed His power revealed before me. In my husband, in myself, and in all the people surrounding us. His nature is so strong, yet so calming. His answers to my prayers could either come one by one, or it could come down all at once like the rain.