When I was little living in Indonesia, I barely saw my mom and dad because they were both career driven people. They provided very well for us and thank them for the work that they do. I do remember every other weekends we would spend as a family. From visiting book stores, or visiting my cousins in Bogor! It was very seldom though and I mostly remember the bonds I had with my live in babysitters from day to day. I still remember one that truly cared and loved me, and it would be so awesome to see her again today. I also remember one that favored my brother over me and she let me know it too, and I still think of her today as a hater. LOL! I mean why would anyone purposely be mean to a 4 year old? :( So you see, the bond we have with whoever cares for us is strong and is never forgotten. When we moved to the United States, They also had to work much harder, but they had much better hours! I understand that people need to work, and sacrifice time with their children. So I for one, understand where they come from.
When I had my first born child, I was so lucky to be able to stay home and care for her. I was there for every milestone, for every first smile, laugh, step, and word. It was such a joy to be able to be given that gift. For the first year of my daughter's life, I was there. I started working shortly after she turned one because of some life changes, like my husband leaving the military and moving. Of course, I had to start working to help out and I remember dropping her off to my mom's and hear her cry when I would walk back to my car. It was a very innocent cry that children would do, and it's surely normal but for me it was hard because I knew that feeling. When they're babies they forget soon after, but I knew I wanted to be the kind of mom to be there every step of the way when they're older, when they start to remember.
When I look at my life now, it's a blessing from God that He blessed my husband with such a good career that allowed me to not HAVE to pursue a job/career to meet financial reasons. God knew my heart, and he answered my prayers faithfully. One of my most important wishes in life was to be there for every school drop off and pick ups. For every school celebration and events, that my children can see me there. I want them to remember that I am always there, that they feel in their hearts for the rest of their lives that mom was there. These are the joys of stay at home moms, we don't miss a thing! We don't miss a kiss, hugs, or loving moments.
We also don't miss every sibling fights or food spills, either. Haha! There are lots of moments when being a stay at home mom is hard because there are house chores and children to juggle. Those of you who think that stay at home parents have it easy, I suggest you should try it for a month! We do not get breaks, ever! Well actually some of us do when kids are forced a nap :) yes, it's nap time. Even when it's their quiet/nap time, this is a perfect time for chores because if you miss laundry day? Well that laundry will be even higher! Decide to wash dishes later? Well, the sink has grown from a square to a super long rectangle on the counter. I love quiet when it's time for my mommy chores :) Routine is key for me, so my house is always in order. It helps me and it helps them, they know exactly what to expect! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime never changes. For instance my son finally learned to tell time, and he looks at it excessively because he loves to learn and understands what it's time for!
Sometimes stay at home parents are looked upon or thought of as less important than working parents because technically they do not produce income. That they are somehow less educated, and looked down upon because these days and age, having a job or career makes a person smarter or an independent person. When in reality, everyone always excels at something, just at different things... And that also everyone depends on someone else for something. It can be depending on someone to help with shelter or food. Even something simple such as depending on people's support for your dreams. Therefore, passive aggressive comments regarding someone else's life are not needed because all of human beings thrive on each other. I hear these comments not just directed at myself, but towards other stay at home moms around me. Although the truth is, stay at home parents are the most efficient people I've ever seen. I'd like to think we make such good business partners, because management comes so naturally. Every bit of our life needs structure, problem solving skills, and the highest amount of patience about literally everything and with everyone for things to go smoothly. This is for almost every waking moment, not just eight hours. We don't have bosses that tell us how to do or fix things, we just gotta figure it out! Also, the ability to hold our tongues in the toughest times, yes we learn to think triple times before we speak! We also never try to purposely offend people because of that sort of patience, ha - ha. Unless you're a mean girl from the movie, then I just can't help you. At all. Like really.
Sometimes when people speak of stay at home moms in a negative manner, we do forget what we are doing this for because the judgmental words start to creep and we start to think we are less important than career driven people. We don't produce an income, no. We produce happiness. We produce livelihood. Contentness, joy, and trust in children is instilled in their hearts. The children trusts that mom is always there when they need us! They don't have to worry when mom is going to be home. It's such a beautiful bond that we build at home, and It's a shame some people would make us feel so lesser than because In reality what we do is so loving. It's also a shame that some working moms would put us down because our working spouse needs us for them to fulfill their part. My husband is SO happy and also thankful that I get to stay home for our kids and build a bond with them, rather than some random stranger that we would have to hire. He's also so thankful because he has me to let him know all the cute little things that the kids do so he also doesn't miss too many things. As a stay at home mom, I get to fill in all the little details to my husband. So in actuality, we both don't miss a thing. It's a win win!
So before people start tearing each other down because they're different, do things differently or what fulfills them is different than what you believe is important... Think twice and start being our sisters in this cruel and difficult world we live in. Women should be empowering other women, no matter how different they are. Stay at home moms are important to their children, it really does make a difference in their life. These memories of our presence last and it could never be forgotten. After all, our children are the future :)
This blog is for moms just like me, if you forget why you're doing what you're doing, or if you start forgetting who you are... I'm here to let you know that those who stay at home for your children, you are important. Without you, there would be no structure. Without your craftiness, or quick thinking, everything would be a mess! Without you, there would be no goodbye kiss or I love you's in the morning when they're off to school or when you pick them up. Without you, there would be an empty seat at the school event. Without your availability, children might worry if you're going to be there for a certain thing. Without you, there would be no specialty cut pb&j's during lunch time. Without you, there would be no silly moments or tickle time to pass until bedtime at night. You might not receive a paycheck every two weeks, but you receive endless kisses, hugs, and adoration. Remember the times when your children randomly stares at you with SUCH loving eyes? Or times when their words just lifts you up without a specific reason? You get to experience this every single day or night and so does your children. They remember it, and they will hold on to your sacrifice forever. Sure, you might lose yourself once in a while, but your children are happy, joyful, and trusts that you're always going to be there for them. They never have a moment where they think you're not going to be there. That trust is priceless. They've always got someone, and that someone is you.